Sunday, May 23, 2010

The Next Step

Old Steps, High Tide, originally uploaded by BURИBLUE.

We have a little more than a month left in Madrid.

Such a simple statement, but it comes with many, many issues.

God is good, and He has been taking care of things one step at a time, never too early, never too late.

~a medical appointment in time for my visa interview
~a clinic to get immunizations also in time for said interview.
~an uncomplicated visit to the embassy to complete the final steps and interview for my visa.
~a passport stamped with an immigration visa (and mysterious sealed envelope that I must present to immigration authorities upon entering the US. Along with my chest X-ray. Who knew that immigration officers knew how to read X-rays? :) )
~an easy solution to how to junk the car, along with a gracious, kind offer of help in the process.

Now that we have the visa, we can look for tickets. But we are waiting for God to provide the funds for the tickets, as well as for our final payment for school.

The money is always the sticking point, isn't it? In my experience it's the thing that can make me lose my trust, incite panic, worry, fear.

So far I'm doing OK with sitting in the hollow of His hand. I look back with faith at all the other times He has (ALWAYS) provided for us. We have never been homeless or hungry.

We have seen Him confirming this decision to follow Him into a new adventure time and time, and time again. Pieces falling into place, connections made. Quietness and peace in our spirits.

So I do my best, to do the next thing. But it has to be the next thing that I CAN do. I look for apartments online. I look at schools. The school that we prefer has a very small geographic area that guarantees admittance. I stare at the satellite image of those blocks and wonder if our future home is there.

I search instead for what is available in the general vicinity, and then I check on those schools.

Housing seems mysteriously absent in the preferred area, and I wonder if I am missing something.

Perhaps we will have to wait until we actually can walk the streets in the neighborhood, or for a few more weeks until July 1 is closer.

I can look at schools online, but perhaps I need to walk the halls, meet some people there, watch my kids' faces react to the possibility.

So for now, I do the next thing I CAN. I help my daughter sort through clothes. This is good for both of us. For while this transition has been, for me, a long to-do list with many steps to accomplish, for her, it has been dwindling days to the mark of the end of the only life she has ever known.

I stop looking at ticket prices and bank balances and credit card balances and available apartments and schools.

I stop, to hold my daughter and let her cry. I stop what I cannot control for now, from here, and do the next thing I CAN.

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