Wednesday, March 24, 2010

God's love breaks through

Troy and I have a lot of dreams of what our future could look like. Obviously, I am a little biased, but I think they are good dreams. They are however, not "mainstream" dreams, and I often feel like those dreams will be misunderstood. I realized that I have been feeling apologetic about those dreams, which is a bit ridiculous since I believe they are dreams God has planted in us.

I realized that as we wait to see what God is going to do with our future, especially job-wise, I have unconsciously felt like we are awaiting judgment. I realize that deep in my heart, I have been waiting for validation of our dreams, and at the same time I have been afraid that instead of validation there will be rejection.

So I have found myself struggling with our dreams, feeling like maybe I don't deserve them, maybe they are selfish, maybe it's all my own desires. But then I look at them, and I see that they are dreams to further God's kingdom, to live simply, to show the love of Christ to those around me, to be incarnational, missional, to fight the encroachment of STUFF in our lives. Dreams to give generously. There is so much burning deep in me that I have felt apologetic about.

And in feeling that I should be apologetic for these dreams, it has paved the way to that perhaps I can't count on provision. If I had the dreams that others have, THEN I would be deserving. THEN I could count on God to provide a job, a good home, a good school.

This morning, in the car on the way to school, God broke through to me so powerfully that I cannot type this without weeping. It began with me having a mental conversation with God, struggling to really put down our future and truly be willing to do WHATEVER He wants. I felt like I got somewhere in truly surrendering my will to His.

And then BAM, this song came on, and I was undone. Tear literally streamed down my face as I drove. I experienced God love for me, and my dreams, in a deeply powerful way.

You Are Being Loved
So you think love is only for the good enough
And one thing you're never gonna be worthy of
But there's a song being sung over you
By the One who breathes life into you

You are being loved
You are being loved
Right now at this very moment
You are being loved
You are being loved
Right now, you are being loved, loved, loved
You are being loved, loved
You are

You ought to see the smile you're bringing to your father's face
You ought to hear Him sing His version of Amazing Grace
Cause that's the song being sung over you
By the God who breathes life into you

You are being loved
You are being loved
Right now at this very moment
You are being loved
You are being loved
Right now, you are being loved, loved, loved
You are being loved, loved
You are

With every breath that you're taking
And every beat of your heart
Even while even this song is playing
Whatever you do, wherever you are
There's a song being sung over you

You are being loved
You are being loved
Right now at this very moment
You are being loved
You are being loved
Right now, you are being loved, loved, loved
You are being loved, loved
You are

You are loved, loved, loved
You are being loved, loved
You are

You are being, you are being
You are being loved
You are being, you are being
You are being loved right now

There's a song being sung over you
There's a song being sung over you
There's a song being sung over you
There's a song being sung over you

You are being loved
You are being loved
You are being loved
You are being loved


~~~
Whatever happens in our future, whether we leave Madrid with a job lined up or not, I KNOW that God loves me, and He gave me these dreams.


Amen and amen.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, this was beautifully put, honey. Thanks for this. Powerful stuff.

    ReplyDelete

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